Many women don't have orgasms during intercourse, but they are able to climax while masturbating. Oftentimes mature women report being able to have multiple orgasms, a pleasure that eluded them during their 20s and 30s.
Some women haven't been able to orgasm at all. There are many reasons for this. The following is a how-to guide to overcoming obstacles to orgasm and having more fun during sex.
Step 1 - Masturbate alone
A woman has to know her own body well before a partner can please her. And like any learned skill, this may take some practice. Choose a time when you are alone, relaxed and not in a hurry. Explore the clitoris with your fingers for starters, rubbing and changing rhythm and position until you find pleasure.
Step 2 - Have sex with someone you are very comfortable with and care about
Hopefully this is your current situation. But if you want to achieve orgasm and you've been having difficulty so far, it's really the key.
Step 3 - Take the lead
Ask your partner to let you lead by positioning yourself where it feels good and instructing him to touch you in ways you find pleasurable.
Step 4 - Fantasize
This is a controversial subject. Many women feel guilty, thinking they should be in the moment and only thinking about their partner and what's happening. But when a man or woman masturbates, usually his or her mind thinks of a fantasy to stimulate arousal. To help you get to the point where you can orgasm during sex, why not use a little crutch to get you started? Fantasize the way you do when you are alone. Once you know how to reach orgasm during sex, you may not need to fantasize.
Step 5 - Use your fingers
Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, but this area can be difficult to stimulate during intercourse. So ask him to use his fingers or touch your own clitoris while he's penetrating you.
Step 6 - Request oral pleasure
Many women report that it helps to bring them to the point of orgasm if their partner stimulates them orally first, followed by vaginal sex.
Step 7 - Don't pressure yourself
And he shouldn't pressure you either. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than stress! If it takes dozens of tries, so be it. If he cares about you, then he'll take the time to help you and not be in a hurry.
Step 8 - Take note of your menstrual cycle
Many women report being most amorous during the middle of their cycles; others right before menstruation or even during.
Step 9 - Change positions
Put a pillow under your butt while he's on top. Or get on top of him and push your pelvis into him. Change positions until you find a position that works well for you. The G-spot deep inside the vaginal canal can help aid in orgasm, so by changing positions you may find a way to stimulate that while also stimulating your clitoris.
Step 10 - Believe it's possible
You have to believe you can have an orgasm during sex for it to happen. Spend some time alone visualizing yourself having an orgasm with your partner. The best time to visualize this is right before you go to sleep. This can help to stimulate some erotic dreams and allow your subconscious to let go and help you explore without self-imposed limits.
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