Sunday, November 16, 2008

I want more

It is a well known fact that men have larger libidos than women. Many women are usually content with foreplay, while our men want to go all the way. In essence, men want sex, women want romance. Men are usually turned on faster and easier than women, however, once a woman is turned on, her urges can overpower the man's.

In many instances, as women we just want a man for friendship purposes only, or to have someone to date occasionally, whereas, the man probably wants immediate intimacy. When we do feel special about a man, most of us want a commitment. Most men, on the other hand are only looking for a one night stand.

There are instances where men are seeking a long-term relationship, but this is rare. And, not all men are alike. It is easier for some men to commit than others. These are the type of men that fall in love and consider cohabitation, or maybe even marriage. Also, not all women are alike; not all women want a commitment. Some of us are as turned off by long relationships as the men.

But what if you're the type of woman who does want a commitment? And suppose you are attracted to a man who only wants to be friends? What if you are constantly seeking ways to get his attention, and he is still not interested?

I've found that the best way to deal with this scenario is to be diplomatic. If, despite your best efforts, you are still getting nowhere, you may want to just write him off as a potential mate. Consider the benefits of his friendship and never, ever take it personally. Nine times out of ten it has nothing to do with you; its nothing you've said or done that turned him off.
There are many other factors to consider when dealing with a man who won't commit. He may already have a steady companion. While you may be crushed, if she arrived first, or is in his opinion, a better match, there's nothing you can do about it. He may not currently be involved with anyone, but for one reason or another, is not seeking a relationship. Perhaps he has been burned by his ex or he may be afraid to commit due to the drama or other issues associated with long-term relationships. Or maybe he and his ex have children and he does not want to hurt them or complicate their lives by getting involved with another woman.

Finally, think about how much you care for this man as a person. Even though by now you know he is not 'Mr. Right', you can use your experiences with him to prepare you for the day when your 'king' does finally come along. Be his friend, enjoy him. Who knows? One day he just may wake up and see you for the wonderful woman you are. And, if he doesn't, you will have enjoyed a great friendship with a person you love, admire and respect. There are other fish in the sea, you just have to be prepared to catch them.