Wednesday, November 5, 2008


wet saturday morning. I was dancing in the ballet studio. live piano accompanying. rain drops beating the roof. only cozy...
on every rare occasion of rain in LA, I'm a victim affected. affectioned. mind infinitely wonders: where were the snows of yesteryear...
for we have thought the longer thoughts
    and gone the shorter way.
and we have danced to devil's tunes
    shivering home to pray;
to serve one master in the night,
    another in the day.
- ernest hemingway (1899-1961)
A big fan

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About the big "O"

About The Orgasm

Women produce natural lubrication when aroused, but amounts vary and it dries quickly. The majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and can't achieve an orgasm through penetration alone. Women warm up slowly and need around 20 minutes of foreplay just to feel turned on. The clitoris and labia majora swell with blood during arousal which also heightens sensitivity. Building up to an orgasm is like building a house of cards. The slightest thing can knock it down. Women need steady, rhythmic stimulation to orgasm. Fast changes of technique can just be a distraction. The clitoris can be too sensitive for direct contact. Working around the area and only moving to the clitoris when fully aroused is often more effective

The Clitoris
Many women need clitoral stimulation during Sex in order to achieve an orgasm, and many men fret that they won't be able to find it. If you can't find it, ask for directions!

The clitoris is a small pink bud situated within the outer labia (vaginal lips) above the entry to the vagina. Although all you can see is a small pink bud, underneath is a mass of erectile tissue. The base of the clitoris is often the best place to aim for;" gently knead the outer labia lips with two fingers and then rotate your fingers around the top of the clitoris. You don't have to use your fingers; try using your tongue or a vibrator.

Remember to take your time and don't go for a full-on assault' as many women prefer not to have direct clitoral stimulation; she'll let you know if that's what she wants you to do. You can use lubrication to ease things along, but make sure it's lubricant that's compatible with condoms like Durex play heat and Durex play feel.

Ranging from fast and explosive to rolling waves of intense pleasure, clitoral orgasms are by far the most common and can last between 10 seconds and over a minute. They can result from either direct contact with the glans, or by pressure on the whole clitoris, including the hidden crura.

The female G-spot

The G-spot; and the more recently discovered A-spot; is thought to be part of the clitoris, but direct stimulation seems to produce a more intense feeling. Not all women have one, but the easiest way to find your G-spot yourself is to squat, insert your finger into your vagina and curve it towards your navel. Feeling around should cause it to swell, thereby making it easier to find; it's usually the size of a large pea.

G-spot stimulation can cause some women to ejaculate a small amount of liquid and, combined with clitoral stimulation can prove to be the most satisfying of orgasms. Not everyone can orgasm from G-spot stimulation and it can take some practice. To hit the spot during sex, the best positions are either from behind, you on top leaning back slightly, or the missionary position with a pillow under your buttocks.

The male G-spot

It does exist - but it's tucked away and rather difficult to find on your own - it's more formal name is the prostate gland.

Should you want to try and find it yourself, lie on your back with your knees bent and feet on the floor. Now put in your thumb and press it against the front wall of the rectum. You will need lubrication. You're looking for something that feels like a walnut. Once you've found it, start massaging firmly in a downward direction. Alternatively, you can always get your partner to look for it.

Many men say that G-spot orgasms are more intense and that they ejaculate in a continuous stream rather than in spurts. Remember: it's always advisable to wash your hands if they have been inside a rectum as you can inadvertently transfer bacteria to other parts of the body afterwards.


There's everything to play for, so getting the atmosphere right is crucial; whether it's as simple as closing the car door or something more sophisticated, creating the ambiance can be part of the fun. Try working on each of the senses.

Get touchy-feely: massage, feathers, food, sandpaper; whatever tickles your fancy. Then move on to smell; scented candles, flowers, freshly-baked bread;if you like the smell, go for it. And make sure you smell nice too; shower with your favorite scent, or just shower with your partner.
Taste is an important one; chocolate body paint, edible underwear or peanut butter. Whatever you cook up, make sure you lick it off slowly. What you see is a huge part of how you feel; lighting, underwear, an entire outfit;" visual stimulation has many options; as does the opposite: try wearing a silk blindfold and let your imagination run riot. And finally, hearing: make sure you tell your partner what they want to hear; the right CD, the right words.

And then accessorize; Toys, food, role play; the number of ingredients you can add is limited only by your imagination. Play games with each other; teasing, coaxing, imagining. Enjoy it and make it last as long as you can; it's worth it.

Start playing

Relaxation and clitoral stimulation

All three of our massagers can be used for relaxation and all stimulate the clitoris in tantalizingly different ways. Stroking your skin can be initially extremely relaxing and soothing. To help you relax, make sure the environment is right, that you are warm and comfortable and you won't be disturbed. Start on your neck, shoulders and back, rhythmically stroking, circling and pressing the pad into your muscles.

Once relaxed, begin to tease your erogenous zones, running the vibrator down the sensitive insides of your arms, elbows and fingers. Smooth it under your breasts and over your nipples, then down over your stomach to your inner thighs.

By now, the urgency should be building, so when you're ready, softly apply some lubricant between your legs then slide the vibrator over the skin either side of your vaginal lips. Moving from back to front, stroke along the edge of your lips to your clitoris. Using the same movement, apply a little more pressure to part your lips and reach the more sensitive area inside. Now begin to concentrate on the clitoris and use a combination of techniques, gliding, circling, pressing, rolling and patting to bring yourself to orgasm.

G-spot stimulation

The only vibrator in the Durex Play range that can directly stimulate the G-spot is the Wand.

The size and curve of Wand's vibrating tip have been specifically designed to stimulate the entrance of the vagina and the G-spot. Of the numerous nerve endings in the vagina, 90% of them are located in the first five centimeters or so. Because this area is by far the most sensitive, you may not want to insert Wand beyond.
To start with, apply some play lube and rest Wand between your lips at the entrance to your vagina, holding it so the controls are facing away from you. By rocking and rolling it forward and backward and side to side, you can stimulate your lips and clitoris. When you're ready, press the tip against your opening and begin to apply pressure, so you gently push the vibrator inside.

Gently move the handle down to angle the vibrating pad towards your G-spot in the front wall of your vagina. Now try pressing and relaxing, circling, twisting and gentle thrusting to get the desired effect and result.

Remember, however, not that many women actually orgasm through vaginal or G-spot stimulation, so don't be surprised if you also need clitoral stimulation to get there.

Stroking your partner

Use the vibrator in a similar way as you would on yourself. Start on their neck and shoulders and as they relax, glide down the insides of their arms to the inner elbow and fingers. Stroke the sides of their chest, over the nipples then down their legs to the backs of the knees and feet.

For male partners, smooth a little lube over his penis, testicles and perineum (the area between his balls and his anus). Begin to gently move the vibrator over his testicles and up and down his perineum; even tease his anus a little if you think he'll like it! Slide the vibrator up and down the penis and over the tip; your imagination can probably take over from here!

A quick note about using a vibrator for anal stimulation. Germs can be spread very easily, so wash the vibrator carefully before using it on any other part of the body. Alternatively, use a condom over it while you're in this area, and simply take it off before continuing.

Playing together

As well as being perfectly suited to either going solo or an extended foreplay session vibrators can be used during oral and penetrative sex to add extra excitement.

Most women need clitoral as well as vaginal stimulation to orgasm, so try pressing the vibrator against your clitoris during sex. Alternatively, hold the vibrator between your bodies, at the base of his penis, so you can feel the sensation.

During oral sex, use it either on yourself or each other. For example, your partner can press the vibrator against your vaginal opening and you can hold it against his testicles or penis while you both do what you do.

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